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"SHOULD I TELL MY NEW LOVER THAT I HAVE HERPES?"
I am an
American who has started dating a French man. I am
in my fifties and he is mid-sixties. I have genital
herpes. Got it about 6 years ago and have had two
outbreaks only. I take medication for it, Acyclovir,
which is quite effective and I basically have
forgotten that I have this virus. I have not been
sexually active in 2.5 years (my own choice to clear
my head/body and ground myself)....and now I meet
this nice French man. We had sex together last week
and I was so worried about having sex with him and
what he would think of me (2nd date.. though I've
known him awhile for 1.5 years as an
acquaintance)...that I really totally forgot to
mention my herpes to him.
I live a very
multicultural life and am totally aware that sex,
sexuality, std's (including herpes) are viewed very
differently by different cultures. so my dilemma is
how to tell him now and how he might perceive my not
telling him right away. He did not ask so partially
I cannot take all the blame but I am an honest
person and tend to be straightforward, which means
in our culture I am rejected often. I really really
like this man so this is important to me. There are
so many myths about the French in the U.S. and I'd
love some clarity. So please any thoughts and
suggestions would be most helpful indeed.
ANSWERS
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