I do not really know where to start but my husband
is severely depressed at the moment. He is finding
life in
France very difficult - we
have no money, he has no work, we cannot see an end
to our problems - he is talking irrationally and he
will not go to the doctors because she is French and
he says he doesn't want to have to think about what
he wants to say in
French.
He is resentful of everything, he cannot be bothered
to do anything, he says he stays in bed because he
thinks he is safe there. I really do not know what
to do - he says the reason he is like he is, ie not
responsible and 'destructive' although he does not
use that exact word is because of his mother (he did
have childhood difficulties) I feel a bit
embarrassed, disloyal, shamed to say all of these
things but I think he is close to a nervous
breakdown of some kind, he has talked of suicide - I
know people say this can be a cry for help - he was
frighteningly different - he is a bit violent
(although that seems too strong a word) but I am
afraid of what he will do if he gets enraged, to
himself, me; our home - he then feels guilty about
his actions and that just makes thing worse - he
says I deserve better and that he is rotten.
I do not know how he
would react if he knew I was saying all of this to
someone but I do not know what to do or how to
arrange help without him knowing. I do not want to
suffer the consequences - he will know I have sent
an email, he will know if someone calls - I am
asking for help and advice but I do not want him to
know I have asked someone. I feel now just as
trapped as him.