I'm
really sorry to hear about this problem with getting
some time to yourself to play sports etc, & wonder what
it is that your wife is really worried about? It sounds
as though she might be feeling a bit insecure for some
reason, or maybe she doesn't have enough to interest her
apart from her 'role' as a wife & mother.
Given that you feel strongly about the need to follow
your own interests, maybe it would be useful to set some
time aside to just talk quietly & gently about what you
would both like to get out of your life, as you may then
discover what might be lacking for your wife. If you can
suggest it just as an effort to discover more about what
your wife would like to do as well, without turning into
a blame exercise which is quite common for couples in
family disputes, it might help her to explore what her
expectations are about 'marriage' for example.
Sometimes couples have unconscious thoughts about what
'roles' partners play in a family situation,& it may be
that your wife had some family patterns established in
her mind already. In any case it does seem important to
try & find out more about what she fears by you going
off & doing things that don't include her? It may be
that she feels lonely or resentful that you have other
interests, but if you can find out more about her own
practical & emotional needs then you might both be able
to come to some kind of compromise, whereby you can
share the child care for example, & give each other the
opportunity to follow different pursuits.
It is difficult to comment further without knowing some
more about your family relationship, so if you'd like to
write further please feel free to ask for more
suggestions about how to approach your wife, so that you
can share your feelings instead of it becoming a
difficult issue which is distressing to you both. |